From a young age, girls start dreaming of their Prince Charming: their “knight in shining armor.” They have their weddings planned out by age 14. Parents encourage this behavior, even ask for it, but what happens when breakups happen and dreams are shattered? What happens when all a girl has dreamed of is broken by ogres in tin armor?

A girl has to grow. She has to learn that her worth is not based on the number of guys who offer to take her out on a date. A girl has to learn that even though a guy says he has feelings for her, his actions speak louder than anything else.

This is not a call for a huge feminist movement where we give up guys and move to take over every large corporation in the world. What I am asking for is much, much smaller. Take the time to see how much you are loved every day and the worth that this love brings you.

I’m talking about the love that comes from friends who laugh with you until your sides hurt. The people that can make you feel better just by being present. The friends that have been there at 3 a.m. when you are sitting on the floor wondering how you will ever find love again. Take the encouraging words they give you to heart, because they are right more often than not. You do not see yourself as they do. They see your genuine smile as you stay up late, laughing and talking, even though you have a million and one things to do. These friendships are people who chose you.

I’m talking about the love that comes from family, silently encouraging us from afar as we contemplate giving up. Remember the hours they spent preparing and shaping you into the woman you are today. The hugs and kisses were not a lie; they love you. They see you grow and make wonderfully amazing strides as an academic and a daughter. Although they may not say it every day, they are proud of the woman you have become.

Finally, I’m talking about the love that comes from being a son or daughter of the one true king. Someone who formed you with his bare hands. The one who thought you into existence and decided that the world needed you. He knows that you are the most beautiful and precious creature on the planet. Every moment you spend doubting yourself, you are doubting the work of God.

Maybe there is no good way to get over your dreams being shattered. It might just be a fact of repeating to yourself: My name is Cassandra Carter. I am 19 years old. I have accomplished so much in my life, and I will accomplish even more. I do not need to choose a man because God will choose one for me.

Be content with who you are today, because every day, you become greater.