Photo by Madison Meyer
Incoming President Mike Williams announced a major reshuffle of his cabinet on Tuesday. After switching his filing technique from alphabetical order to the Dewey decimal system, Williams also announced the addition of four new members to his executive cabinet. Williams said while all four of the positions are now officially created, all but one remain open. Applications can be found on Handshake.
First in the lineup, and most in line with the heart of Williams’s mission, is the position of Vice President of Aquatic Affairs. This individual will oversee the transition of both the Lily Pond and Benson fountains into full time swimming pools. The newly named Lily Pool will be reserved full-time for female swim time only. Swimmers of the new Benson pool will be limited to male students and community members. The Benson pool will be heated.
As listed in the job description, interested individuals should be “passionate about watersports and ethically opposed to mixed bathing.”
Another new hire as part of Williams’s announcement will be the Vice President of Aeronautical Transportation and Leisure. This individual will be responsible for refilling and maintaining the cashew and water bottle supply on the Harding plane.
The third installment Williams announced Tuesday was the position of Vice President of Tickling the Ivories. This individual will be responsible for enforcing the no play rule of the David B. Burks American Heritage lobby piano until after the devotional period is over during the approximate 35 minutes of chapel each morning.
In addition, Williams announced the position of Vice President of the Student Association. This position is currently held by Hannah Hackworth, who will remain at her post until the student body elects her replacement for the upcoming school year.