Fruit of the Spirit to work on:
For the Twos, reading this may seem like a personal attack. How could someone suggest that any type is inherently not good? Don’t be mistaken; just because the spirit of goodness deserves extra attention from Twos does not mean they are not good and that they don’t beautifully bring forth the goodness within others.
These nurturing, loving people are the most heart-forward among all of the Enneagram types and have an undeniable strength in their dependable, supportive and generous forces that should never be mistaken for passivity. Furthermore, the forgiving hearts that Twos possess are not equivalent to weak ones. Their selfless and sacrificial nature causes them to lean into giving shape and meaning to their relationships.
So much of what shapes a Twos character is relational to needs. They inspiringly address and tend to others’ needs in a way no other type can; they fill the world with good. However, needs are also what causes a Two to fall.
First, they struggle to properly address their own needs. They attempt to diminish and minimize their own needs by attuning to everyone else’s in an attempt to repress the pain of potential rejection, but they must face the fact that their needs exist. When they fail to do so, they put themselves in danger of their actions not reflecting goodness but rather their potentially selfish desire to be needed.
In addition, they also struggle with a deep desire to draw out others’ needs to create purpose within themselves and their relationships. It is undeniably important for Twos to realize that selflessness is not equivalent to self-sacrifice — the first will be affirming and the second will be deprecating. The essence of Twos is rooted in giving, but that results in the average Two feeling a lack of connection with those that don’t depend and lean into that unconditional love. They must acknowledge — in relationships — that their difficulty to separate the desire to be needed and the depth of their bonds is present; there is not a causation between them. A giving spirit can be selfish in nature or highlight goodness. Twos have to examine the intentions behind their actions to consciously choose goodness. If they are unhealthy, a need to be needed could even lead a Two to being possessive, manipulative and/ or intrusive.
In terms of self-care, Twos must recognize their needs and give voice to them by explaining how they desire to receive love. Every Two is worthy of being taken care of as well. By recognizing and giving a name to their needs and asking for help in that, it not only helps those who love the Twos, but it also offers surrender to God for the Christian Twos. God knows the needs Twos face before they even comprehend them. Voicing those to him and recognizing them within themselves opens them up to him addressing them.
Twos must learn to be comfortable surrendering to solitude. Tuning into the parts that offers something to others but does not require giving away parts of themselves is incredibly important. There are so many beautiful pieces that are a part of Twos, but first they must recognize that within themselves, so their good actions are driven by good intentions.
Verses for Twos:
Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.
People may be pure in their own eyes, but the Lord examines their motives.
And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.
For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God.
But watch yourselves lest your hearts be weighed down with dissipation and drunkenness and cares of this life, and that day come upon you suddenly like a trap.
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”
Advice for people who know a Two:
In every struggle, disaster and catastrophe, the Twos are the first ones there to bring comfort and light. There is strength in their ability to be a light tower in the darkness that looks over the top of the rough waters and gives others direction in the dark. However, they may not easily or ever call upon that same support from the ones they love. No matter that, the people who are blessed with these types in their lives deserve just as much care and love as they give to others. Everyone should check in on the Twos in their lives and ask them how they wish to be shown love.
When a Two is at a less-than-healthy point, tact is everything. Twos make mistakes and have flaws just like every other type; however, intentionality and grace mean everything when addressing a Two on those flaws. Never address those difficult topics from a selfish place. When a Two can detect kindness and love, words will sink in much more.