My roommate Hollee and I were sitting in her room, trying to think of something to talk about. It wasn’t the first time we’d talked long enough to run out of topics, and I had a strategy for times like these. I know it sounds weird, but I opened Safari and Googled “super deep questions.” We’ve both expressed a distain for small talk.
I scrolled through lists upon lists calling out random ideas and questions. We ran through the easy topics too quickly, but then landed on a question that I found interesting.
“Is it harder for you to look someone in the eye while you tell them how you feel or when they’re telling you how they feel?”
She and I both took a second to recognize how difficult it can be for us to speak openly and honestly about our feelings. I think most people can relate to that. Writing columns like this one is kind of my way of opening up a bit about myself without actually having to look anyone in the eye while I do it. But sometimes, I need a response. I don’t want to need it, but I do.
At this point, Hollee probably knows me better than she ever actually wanted to. I’ve opened up to her little by little and been more honest with her than I have with many others in the past. I think my roommate from freshman year made it easier for me to do that.
Mariah McClellan was, without a doubt, the best freshman roommate I could’ve had. At a time of such unfamiliarity and change, I think we both needed someone new to rant and relate to.
We met in person for the first time a few days before that first semester started. It’s rare for me to feel at ease around someone I’ve just met, but I remember already feeling comfortable while we sat at Slader’s getting to know one another.
She was open and easy to talk to. I remember telling her tons of stories about my family and her telling me stories about her friends from back home. We compared music taste and political stances. We shared our memories and our secrets. Some nights we would stay up late just talking about all kinds of things, like religion or our past hardships.
Throughout the year, we talked to each other about all the things that bugged us and talked through difficult decisions together. She always gave great advice and knew how to put things in perspective. I learned a lot from her freshman year.
We’ve sort of fallen out of touch, but I still feel like she would be there for me if I needed her help. And I would definitely drop whatever I was doing at the moment if she needed mine.
There have been times in the past where I felt like there wasn’t anyone I could honestly talk to, and it was too difficult to tell people how I felt. During those times, I remember feeling so lonely and isolated. After so long of bottling things up, it was easy to feel overwhelmed. I would often blow things out of proportion because I would spend too long thinking about them without saying them out loud.
It’s important to have someone you can trust with your secrets and emotions. I know it can be really hard to initiate a friendship like that or to share that first secret, but those friends are so important for your sanity.
I’m so thankful for people like Mariah, people that listen and understand so easily. The people who don’t ask for anything in return, but are always there to lend an ear and some advice. I’m thankful for people like her that make it easier to trust others.
I challenge you to be that kind of friend for others and to look around and recognize these friends in your life — tell them thank you.
