You never know what kids will remember.
As someone who has only been on the receiving end of the parenting job, I imagine one of the scariest marvels of this occupation is never being “off duty.” Every parent knows how to find a teachable moment — after all, it is human instinct to grab a child’s hand before they touch a hot stove. It is our nature to help kids understand why shots are necessary, even though they hurt. It is common sense to explain why the sandbox is safe and the street is not.
These are foundational moments, and the lessons are eternal and priceless. The memories themselves, however, are often lost, while obscure and seemingly insignificant moments can be remembered for a lifetime.
Nobody can predict what will be remembered. This definitely doesn’t just apply to parents, either. One of my most vivid memories involves someone who played merely a supporting role in my life.
His name was Ben. He was probably 16 or 17 years old when I was nine. We ran in the same circle once or twice a week when a group of us would meet in an empty parking lot to play flag football.
Ben was what I had heard people describe as a “radical Christian.” At the time, I knew little about what this meant. To me, he was just an older, popular guy who knew everything about Star Wars, and that was more than enough to win my adoration. I wanted to be just like Ben — the Jedi Master to my padawan learner.
One day, Ben showed up to the parking lot with an odd piece of jewelry around his neck. He was a big guy, over six feet tall and easily 220 pounds, and on this hot July day, he showed up with a heavy steel chain around his neck. It was the kind of chain you might buy to keep a dangerous German Shepherd constrained. On Ben’s chain, in the typical fashion of a necklace pendant, was a large padlock.
The whole apparatus had to weigh several pounds. In hindsight, there was no way the boy’s neck could have held up under this duress without contortions.
“Ben,” I said incredulously, trying to process how anybody could be so wicked cool, “why are you wearing that lock?”
You never know what kids will remember. As for me, one of my most vivid memories is that of my role model looking straight at me and saying, “It reminds me to keep my heart locked against sin.”
Ben probably had no idea that his words would stick with me over the next decade. I heard recently that he might be working for the government now, but I honestly don’t know. What I can tell you is this: I will never forget that summer day — the day he explained his radical fashion statement and even let me hold his heavy padlock necklace.
“My God is always watching me,” Ben said. He grabbed my shoulder and gave it a squeeze. “I want to make sure I live my life right.”
Several years ago, I was gifted a toolbox full of odds and ends from my grandfather. Inside, amongst bent screwdrivers and rusty nails, I found a small padlock. If you ever want to see it, just ask me — I wear it on a chain around my neck.
Like Ben, it reminds me to keep my heart locked against sin.
It’s not just parents who have the most profound impact on a young person’s life. In a way, we are all parents to the children we interact with. We are always “on duty” when it comes to the things we say.
After all, you never know what kids will remember.
