Unless you’ve been living under a rock or still haven’t set up DormNet on your computer, you’ve seen the final “Star Wars: The Force Awakens” trailer that was released this week. Let’s all just take a minute, say a quick prayer and hope that thing is as good as it looks like it’s going to be. All that to say, my mind has been in a galaxy far, far away this week; but who says Star Wars and sports can’t be intertwined? It’s certainly not going to be me. Welcome to “Star Wars” meets sports.
Darth Vader/A-Rod: He was the chosen one, but he went to the dark side. There may be some good left in him (but I kind of doubt it).
Luke Skywalker/Anthony Davis: The new hope and the bright future. He’s the building block for everything going forward.
Han Solo/Michael Jordan: At first he wasn’t really feelin’ the whole “team” thing. He was a lone wolf. But once he figured it out, we all know he’s the coolest.
Chewbacca/Scottie Pippen: Lovable sidekick of the coolest character.
Princess Leia/Rhonda Rousey: She carries the torch for all female characters (because Padme is just awful). Mess with her at your own risk. Just ask Jabba the Hutt or Beth Correia.
Yoda/Bill Belichick-:Soft spoken, mysterious and wise. He’s the old master, but he will also destroy you if he has to.
Obi Wan Kenobi/Brett Favre: Did his thing at a high level for as long as anybody, passed the torch to the next generation and his padawan hasn’t been too bad, either.
C3POand R2D2/NFL Kickers: Ultimately, totally replaceable. Possibly for a better model. We love them because they’re ours.
Darth Maul/Greg Oden: Had all the tools to be a great one, but found out the hard way he couldn’t hang.
Lando Calrissian/Lebron: Lando is a fun, cool guy. Until he betrays all his friends to Darth Vader. But then he redeems himself, so I guess it’s OK.
The Emperor/Roger Goodell: The big bad guy, he rules from the shadows and tries to be discreet about it, but everyone knows it’s him.
Count Dooku/2000’s Cleveland Browns Quarterbacks: Just a generic bad guy. Only stuck around for a little while and was mainly just a placeholder for the next man up.
Jar Jar Binks/Lance Stephenson: A total clown. No one knows how he got here. It’s a good thing clowns are funny.
Jabba the Hutt/Jared Lorenzen: If you don’t know who this is, do yourself a favor and Google it. You’ll thank me later
