Written by Brandon Higgins
As I’ve gotten older, I’ve become more apathetic toward Christmas because I no longer have a long list of things that I want. I’m a simple guy to please these days — give me some ties, undies and a Mizzou hoodie and I’m just dandy. This year is a bit different, however.
As a graduate student, I’ve been around Harding for a while, and there are just some things that need to go. For that reason, here is my Christmas wish list of two things I want to get out of Harding’s friendly confines.
1. Overused Words:
Is it just me, or does everyone use the word “legit” now? Seriously; it’s used for everything.
“Oh my gosh, girl. That scarf is legit.” I bet it’s not.
“Dude, I make the most legit quesadillas.” In no way can cheese pressed between two flour tortillas and cut into wedges be classified as legit.
Or how about the word “epic?” I’m pretty sure people don’t know what the word means because I hear it used all the time.
“Man, that chicken biscuit chapel talk was epic.”
First of all, are you talking about the first time it was done or the second time it was done? Second, such an event can’t be classified as epic unless chicken biscuits rained from on high to feed the multitudes. Yet another great word that has been ruined due to overuse.
And why is everyone fascinated with constantly calling happenings “awkward?” Let me run an awkward scenario by you quickly to illustrate my point.
I had a friend who found himself in a prank war with another friend of mine. After guy number one nestled a dead squirrel into the bed of guy number two, guy number two deposited some laxative into the morning protein shake of guy number one. After chapel, guy number one was talking to a girl when the weight of his entire digestive system knocked at daylight’s door. He had to about-face to find a bathroom, never finishing the conversation, mind you, but couldn’t get there in time. Oops. That, my friends, is awkward, so stop calling every interaction that doesn’t flow perfectly awkward, and stop taking pride in being an awkward person when you’re probably not. It’s not cute.
2. The HU Clothing Fads:
Where do I even start? How about North Face jackets? First of all, I can’t stand the name. “The North Face.” That just reminds me of the people on Facebook who put “the” in front of their names like they are something special. I’m also reminded of how Ohio State demands to be called “The Ohio State University,” with emphasis on the “the.” I’m pretty sure you can put “the” in front of anything, and it’s not going to make it any cooler. Let me try. “I’m going to The Waffle House to get The Hash Browns and The City Ham Biscuit. I’ll drink The Coke and leave The Tip.”
Nope. That’s still pretty lame. Kind of like paying 250 bucks for a jacket, right?
Then there are those boots that girls wear making them look like either eskimos or Robin Hood. I can’t believe the amount of fur that those Ugg boots have. If you’re not a sherpa, there is no sense in having that much fur interdigitating with your toes. And those mid-shin, floppy boots that the ladies are donning just remind me of Peter Pan, especially when combined with leggings. Not attractive. But at least you’re, like, totally in style, right? You should, like, totally buy a quiver of arrows to complete the ensemble. If you do , it would be pretty epic. But don’t forget the North Face jacket, or it might be kind of awkward, yet legit at the same time.
