Written by Jess Ardrey
“A highly formed friendship between male friends, or ‘bros.'” Definition circa (the all-knowing) Urban Dictionary.How this word has crept into our vocabulary I’m not quite sure, but it’s here with a vengeance.Now, we’ve all seen the other couples around campus. And you know what I mean. The ones embracing in the middle of the hallway when you’re just trying to get to Western Civ. The ones who always hog the good swings. The ones who obstruct your way into your own dorm before curfew. The ones who can’t break eye contact in chapel, even with Cliff and Clax bringing the rain. Yeah. Those ones.Well, I’ve gotten really good at navigating the makey-outey types. You’d be surprised how far a well-placed elbow will get you in life. The swings, however. I am forever thwarted in my search for a swing.But this column is not about actual romance. It’s about bromance. As a friend of mine once put it, “It is platonic. And it is beautiful.”George Clooney and Brad Pitt. Keenan and Kel. Merry and Pippen. All bromantically inclined.Chances are you’ve seen some budding bromances around campus, too. The ones who hug for an uncomfortable amount of time. The ones who spend all their time on Xbox Live … with their roommate. The ones who always hog the good swings. Yeah. Those ones.Well, naturally, I’m here to help you decipher who is and who is not part of a bromance. Keep your eyes open. This place is crawling with them. But they’re harmless. Generally.Here are just a few signs to look for:
- He and his bro have matching outfits. (I’m not talkin’ jerseys.)
- He buys his bro nice things − like chicken biscuit-nice.
- He asked his bro to his last two functions.
- He spends more time getting ready for a D-team basketball game than for a date.
- He and his bro have teenage-girl-long phone conversations regularly.
- He told his bro’s fiancée to “take care of him, OK?”
- His favorite movie is “I Love You, Man” (extra points if he cries at the end).
- He and his bro have a jam they’ve deemed “their song” and it’s “Firework.”
So, bros and bettys, as Valentine’s Day approaches, feel free to spread the love. Just make sure you keep things Harding appropriate. And un-gross. And un-weird. For all our sakes.
