Fantasy football is defined as “a competition in which participants select imaginary teams from among the players in a league and score points according to the actual performance of their players.” In my opinion, and I’m confident that many will agree, “competition” is too meek of a word for fantasy football. Fantasy football is, in essence, a weighty mission, guaranteed to evoke anger, excitement, depression, dedication and irrationality from a man’s or woman’s persona.
Although anger isn’t the emotion felt most often regarding fantasy football, it is often a blinding emotion. Anger can be evoked any number of ways, whether it be if your kicker missed three field goals in one game, if you left a breakout performer on the bench, or whether your opponent spasmodically puts up 150 points after averaging 75 through three weeks.
Excitement is a direct result of one of your players “going off.” Marshawn Lynch’s performance in week two is a prime example of that. Three total touchdowns and 135 yards of total offense garnered 30 points for him in my league. As it were, I needed 28 points from him in order to top my opponent.
Depression sits strongest with that team manager in your league whose team is literally the worst. Normally, this stems simply from bad luck. Either his first round draft pick gets hurt in week one, his running back loses the starting spot or his “sleeper pick” sits like the Snorlax on the sideline for the duration of the season.
Dedication is simply a natural outcome of fantasy football. However, often this dedication is revealed to be irrational. Let’s unwrap that.
Irrationality epitomizes fantasy football. For no other reason would you root so absurdly for a kicker. Nor would you have two TV’s on CBS and FOX in your room from noon until 11 p.m. on a Sunday. Nor would you pray so intensely for a tight end to be thrown to. Nor would you ever be torn so unfairly between your favorite team winning and the opposing team’s wide receiver (on your fantasy squad) putting up astronomical numbers.
I experience all of these emotions every NFL week.
I feel like a 13-year-old girl riding an emotional roller coaster, but don’t judge. Fellow managers, I urge you to wear your heart on your sleeve. Fantasy football plays by its own rules and cares not about our hearts.
Hand your man-card over and ride that emotional roller coaster like you mean it.
