If I ruled the world, people would not be afraid to walk underneath the front lawn’s bell tower. Not because I have eradicated all superstitions or called in a priest to bless the structure with holy water and a few “Hail Marys,” but because there would no longer be this fear of living perpetually single. For those who do not know, legend has it that if you walk underneath the old bell tower alone, you will never get married, ever.
As young people surrounded by all of these marriage-related superstitions, dating status updates, ring ceremonies and marriage counseling flyers, some of us might feel as if we somehow fail humanity if we do not get married or start dating the guy/girl of our dreams.
Being students of the “Marriage Factory,” we are constantly inundated with not-so-subliminal advertising to seek out a mate, get the super-cool proposal out of the way and make sure to get on the waiting list for Cone Chapel. Even from the get-go, we are told, “You will never find this many young, Christian singles in one place ever again.” And to that I say, “So what?”
There are plenty of unmarried Christians out there who do not attend Harding. If God does not have that special someone for me here, then I see no reason to fret over it. We have enough pressure in our college careers to excel in our academics, be active in social organizations and do everything we can to spiff up our resumés that we do not need to drive ourselves crazy with worry we won’t find a significant other before we graduate.
And it is not the administration or the faculty who are pressuring us, either. We are doing it to ourselves. How many couples who have been dating for longer than six months start hearing the questions “So when will you pop the question?” or “Have y’all gone ring shopping yet?” from their peers? It’s like our friends try to strap rocket jet packs onto our relationships to speed up the process so they can start suiting up for the bridesmaid/groomsman lineup while they are still young.
On the other hand, if you and your significant other share genuine, strong love and feel like you are both mature enough to handle the responsibilities of marriage, then what the hey, put a ring on it.
God has different plans for each of our lives. Sometimes, he gives us those he wants us to spend the rest of our lives with before we graduate college and sometimes he waits till years and years later. And sometimes he creates us to be independent and comfortable in singleness.
I myself do not think God gave me the gift of singleness. But being a senior, I am not thinking God has Mrs. Right here at Harding. Maybe he does and maybe he does not; I am still staying open to opportunities. But I think I still need to learn more about life and the way the world works before I take the plunge into marital bliss.
So here is my advice to the student body: Do not be afraid to be single. God is the greatest significant other anyone can ask for. And for crying out loud, do not be so afraid of going under the bell tower. There is no such thing as the curse of perpetual singleness.
