Sitting down to watch your favorite team play is an escape. For a few hours nothing matters except what your team is doing (or not doing) to win.
During the course of the game it is not uncommon for a fan’s blood pressure to reach levels of acute hypertension.
To make matters worse, the brat, burger and countless potato chips you shoveled in earlier, for the energy needed to get you through the game, do not help the rising blood pressure.
One of the few things saving fans from cardiac arrest is the deep, calm and booming voices of our favorite sports announcers. After weeks of inviting them into our home they become our neighbors.
The announcers add an aspect to the game that makes the entertainment value exceptional. Sometimes you hate them for insulting your team’s inability to run the ball, or love them for arguing your team’s side on a bad call by the ref. Whether it is a half-court buzzer beater, or a game-winning pick six, the announcers add to the excitement.
My love and appreciation toward sports announcers is unending. However, one thing I have always noticed about sports announcers is the strang the exceptionally low level of athleticism and physical attractiveness they possess.
The attractiveness levels are low across the board. When cameras abruptly cut to the announcers, without the warning of a commercial break, stomaching all of those empty calories becomes substantially tougher.
For example, take Verne Lundquist of CBS’ SEC on CBS. Lundquist is one of the most recognizable play-by-play commentators in all of sports. His experience, easily recognizable voice and ability to excite listeners make him one of a kind. However, I wouldn’t put money on his running a 4.4 from the couch to the fridge.
His lack of athletic ability accompanies exceptionally low attractiveness. Mrs. Lundquist desperately needs prayers.
The most obvious example would be John Madden. The well-known color commentator and former Super Bowl-winning professional football coach during the ’70s with the Oakland Raiders could describe a football game like none other. His last name has transformed into a brand, with EA sports reportedly making more than $3 billion in revenue since the game’s inception. But what about Madden’s strutting down the runway as a Calvin Klein underwear model?
My all-time favorite announcer, the legendary Pat Summerall, garners all of my respect. Without his wallet, could he garner dates?
What are your theories on why this is? Let me know on my Twitter, kboyce07.
Disclaimer: Contrary to belief of the masses, this writer is no model, or anything more than a Madden ’12 athlete. His credentials on judging attractiveness come from years of watching “America’s Next Top Model.”
