Written by Alaina Wolf
As the world is more connected than ever, the beauty of being alone is fading. An invaluable and incomparable form of growth comes alongside finding comfort by solely existing: being alone.
I urge you! Do not mistake being alone for the feeling of loneliness. You can sit in chapel with thousands of other students and feel lonely. You can sit in your dorm room alone and not feel lonely.
Loneliness is not dependent upon your state of being. Your state of being is not the qualifier for a feeling as one such as this. Loneliness is a disease that is consuming more than a billion individuals each day, but why? Perhaps they are realizing their state and incorporating what they assume is the appropriate feeling . Perhaps loneliness stretches greater into people-filled rooms. Each uncomfortable, awkward or new situation is met with a glance downward and the automation of checking each social page and platform. With the help of technology, loneliness is only temporarily swept under the rug by a glowing screen that fills in — what seems — all of the gaps of tangible connection. Does each gap have to be filled to be satisfied? How would your interactions walking around campus look if your dominant hand wasn’t occupied by a buzzing rectangle?
True community is invaluable and incomparable. We can serve others in community. We can be held accountable in community. We can find ways to improve ourselves and help those around us. However, how can we face reality when we are inevitably away from this community physically?
Practice being alone. In no means am I advocating for anti-community, but too many people today equate being alone with the feeling of loneliness. How can we combat this? Practice being alone. Some can challenge themselves to find a healthy balance of time spent with community and time alone. Some do not have such a luxury to choose an intentional time balance. You cannot anticipate or plan ahead for when you will find yourself alone.
Both of my grandmothers’ husbands died before I was born. My grandmothers were alone, but they were never lonely. Mindset can aid this practice of being alone.They intentionally connected themselves with various communities physically and spiritually. If we can find peace with ourselves in time alone, we can translate this peace outward in circumstances that we may find ourselves feeling lonely in. Dare to find peace and extend it to others.
Practice being alone, and soak it in. Walk through life paying close attention to the beautiful moments and the difficult ones; savor each melody and delight in life’s song. God commonly speaks to those in solitude. If Jesus needed a retreat, we are in desperate need. He is the ultimate supplier of peace. Use this practice of being alone as a tool. Call on him and reflect when loneliness looms overhead. Dedicate time to be alone to create and grow this relationship. You have the power to create a safe space when you are alone.
You may not always be able to turn to a physical community.
You can always turn to being alone, in community with someone who loves you greater than any love has ever loved.
Be still and know.
There is value in being in community.
There is value in being alone.
