Written by Tiane Davis
I grew up in a small rural town surrounded by a strange demographic of people my age who held a strong hatred toward cats. I heard kids at my school say all the time that cats were stupid or annoying or unlovable. Perhaps it was the prevailing mindset or my own susceptibility to influence, but I often found myself agreeing. Every time I went to school, I was surrounded by cat-haters. My friends and I were cat-haters.
For as long as I can remember, my family always had a lot of barn cats that we fed and kept warm if they needed shelter. We gave them cute names and we always made sure they were taken care of. I always joked about how they were all evil, and I never wanted to admit to myself that deep down, I actually loved their little noses and fluffy tails. I loved pouring cat food into a giant bowl and watching them chow down on it with their tiny teeth. But I was a dog person, which meant in my little pea brain that I had to hate cats and anything that resembled them.
Because I still hadn’t learned how to form my own opinions back then, things like this happened a lot. I would feel like a fraud for liking certain things because I thought I wasn’t supposed to, or I would try to hide my loves and interests as if I wasn’t allowed to feel or express them — as if they were something to be embarrassed about.
I still am a dog person, but things have changed since my cat-hating era. I love cats too now, and my stance on felines underwent a transformation for several reasons.
In the past couple of years, I have found myself surrounded by cat people, who, in all of their love for the eccentric and contradictory nature of cats, have helped me love them too. Somewhere between my teenage years and now, I started to let myself listen more to the likes rather than the dislikes of the people who are important to me.
Love is not a finite source. I am not limited to being a dog person just because I love them so much. I like the idea that it is impossible to use up all of my love. I can love cats just as much as dogs, because the love in my heart does not have a limit.
I love a lot of things now that I didn’t love when I was younger, and I am so grateful for the ways my life has shifted because of that. Our lives are constantly changing and challenging us, but that means our capacity to love and appreciate will only expand as we navigate them. I hope and pray I can learn to love more and better as I get older.
You have probably noticed that life is often presented as a series of binary choices — dogs or cats, coffee or tea, beach or mountains, black or white. However, one of the beautiful lessons I’ve learned in my journey away from cat hatred is that it doesn’t always have to be one or the other. We can relish the diversity and joy that comes with embracing both sides of a spectrum.
To be honest, I feel brave when I admit to loving things. I don’t feel brave when I allow unneeded hatred into my heart. I don’t mean to tell anyone to ignore difficulties in life or to love inherently evil things in the world — not everything brings good into our lives, and looking at life through rose-colored shades can only get one so far. What I mean to say is that allowing love in your heart for more parts of life can only make it better.
I have also noticed that the more open I am to sharing the things I love, the more comfortable the people around me are with sharing their interests and loves too. Love doesn’t need to be replenished, because it is a source that grows the more you use it.
I love cats. I just thought you would like to know, in case you secretly do as well. Tell me about the things you love, and maybe I can love them too.
