Written by Tiane Davis
When I was in 8th grade, I played a clump of grass in my middle school’s production of “The Lion King Jr.” Lots of memorable things happened in that play — including an unfortunate scene during which my grass skirt fell off while I was on stage. I will never forget the laughs I heard from the kids in the front row as I struggled to tie my skirt back around my waist.
I will also never forget the way I cried during the curtain call of our last performance, even though all I did that weekend was sway and sing background vocals. It wasn’t really knowing it was over that made me sad, but the thought that things would never be exactly the same. I knew I would never be in the same room in the same way with all of those people ever again.
But really, the three shows we did were all different in so many ways, however minor those differences were. I did not have to deal with a wardrobe malfunction in every show — just the one. The girl playing a giraffe while walking on stilts in the opening scene only fell during one performance. Although we followed the same script and had the same cast every night, none of the three times we sang “The Circle of Life” turned out perfect or exactly the same as the others.
Every time a huge change happens, like when I move out of a home, leave a job or say goodbye to a friend, I seem to put more thought into the idea that things will never be the same. I think of all the little moments that felt identical to each other that I actually won’t be able to experience in the same way ever again. But really, no matter how days in a certain season of my life might run together and feel the same, none of them can ever be identical. All of the little moments are distinguishable in their own little ways.
A couple years ago, I went to a concert with my brother where the person performing talked about the Japanese idiom, “Ichi-go ichi-e,” which means “One time, one meeting.” Essentially, it encapsulates the idea of treasuring the unrepeatable nature of any given moment in life. It has also been translated as “for this time only” and “once in a lifetime.” Every moment and every situation in our lives is unique from one another.
When you start to understand that no part of your life will ever be repeated in the same way, the things you do with the people you love will feel urgent, as if you have a life to live that cannot be wasted.
The same goes for the opposite. When you look back at memories from long ago, part of the reminiscing might feel sad because those moments are long gone. You will want to recreate them, but the truth is, the thought that no moment is like another has the great potential to give us freedom to move on. It is so easy to think, “Wow. I will never have this moment again and that makes me sad,” but life feels so much happier when we can say, “Every moment in my life is its own and I am ready to make each one count.”
This weekend, those visiting for Homecoming will probably notice everything that has changed since the last time they visited. Returning to a place that we used to call home — although we all want it to be a celebration — can often feel like a huge loss of good things we had in the past. Rather than mourning over the loss, we can celebrate the thought that every second of our lives is a brand new, unprecedented one.
