Written by Avery Hawkins
In our culture, it’s normal to hear things like “be true to yourself” or “be your authentic self.” These messages come from an ideology called expressive individualism.
Expressive individualism says that human fulfillment is found when we define who we are, live into this identity and assert our identity to the world. Additionally, it expects us to affirm others’ identities based on the belief that everyone has a right to be whoever they want to be and they’re perfect just the way they are. (If you’re having trouble picturing it, think about social media, where the practice of proclaiming and celebrating identity is ubiquitous.)
Some Christians look at expressive individualism and worry about the narcissism of our culture. This is a valid concern. But I think this cultural phenomenon is rooted in a very human desire: We want to be loved. However, expressive individualism as we see it in our culture will never provide fulfillment.
One problem with expressive individualism is we cannot be fully loved if we are not fully known. Even if we declare who we are to the world and receive praise, it will eventually fall flat. We want people to love us for who we are, but most of what we express about our identity is just the polished version. Deep down we wonder, “If they really knew me, would they still love me?”
Moreover, fulfillment is not found in being more like who we already are; it’s found in being more like Christ. The cross should completely transform how we live, but we can forget this if we only receive affirmation from others. Being surrounded by yes-men, while fun at first, is not helpful in the long run. I need people around me who call me out when I’m being selfish or immature.
Sometimes the Harding social club process can feel like a masterclass in expressive individualism. Potential new members try to show off who they are at club mixers, hoping they are received positively, while clubs display their group identities.
But behind the procedures and social jockeying, we all long for community. During this time of year — with rankings and invitations and club week — let’s not lose sight of this. Whatever club you end up in, if any, what matters is forming genuine relationships. Look for people you can open up to who push you to be better. Be a good friend to others by offering a listening ear when they share their struggles and by speaking the truth with kindness when you see them falling short.
And when your community fails you (because we’re human), we can always rely on the perfect love of God. He knows us fully. He is constantly working in us to bring us to a more beautiful way of life, something that looks more like Christ.
