In the midst of tragedy, it can be difficult to cope with grief and heartbreak. Even when the loss occurred months or even years ago, many students still struggle to cope and are still working to find ways to deal with grief.
Senior Hayley Waldron lost her friend and former student Ty Osman who died in a car accident in spring 2012.
“I would want friends of those who are hurting to know that it’s OK to talk about it,” Waldron said. “I wished so many times that someone would have asked me if I wanted to talk about it. I encourage friends of those hurting to be there to help them heal.”
Freshman Macy Pate is still dealing with her mother’s passing at the beginning of this school year.
“Losing my mother is easily the hardest thing I’ve ever experienced, and hopefully the hardest thing I ever will experience,” Pate said. “The only way I can think to describe it is that it’s like having everything you would consider stable and certain about your life crumble to pieces within minutes.”
In January 2014, one of senior Christy Beck’s best friends, former student Kailey Massey, died in a car wreck on the way back to school.
“Losing one of my closest friends was the hardest thing I have ever gone through,” Beck said. “I felt lost. Nothing really made sense. Losing a friend changes who you are. You experience and learn true pain, suffering, exhaustion, hurt and hopelessness while also experiencing and learning empathy, compassion and love.”
Many of the students who suffer these types of losses have reached out to counseling services and friends to help make it through the most difficult periods of grieving.
Some of these include the grief support group at The Rock House, the university counseling center in the McInteer and local counselors and organizations such as the Dr. Robert E. Elliot Foundation.
Director of the university counseling center, Dr. Lew Moore, said it is important to reach out for help in a time of need. Moore said that the university’s counselors have a lot of experience and that is normal for people to need a period of time to heal and to be hesitant to seek help during periods of grieving.
“Individuals who may be anxious about seeking help are very normal,” Moore said. “I know very few individuals who really want to ask for help. My encouragement to anyone grieving is to view the struggle like a partnership with caring individuals who share our journeyof joy andsadness.”
It can be difficult to sympathize with a friend who has dealt with a loss, but remember that your friends will ultimately need you for support during this difficult time. Beck said the best way to help friends is to just be present.
Pate also emphasized the importance of being willing to listen, even when it is not the easiest thing.
“The worst thing you can do is make someone feel like they’re inconveniencing you with their grief,” Pate said. “If your friend wants to talk to you about whomever they have lost, let them. If they want to sit in silence, let them. If they need to cry in the middle of chapel, let them.”
