At the beginning of the summer of 2013, I boarded a plane bound for Moscow with five other Harding interns. It was a bold adventure, a grand experiment. In a burst of spontaneity, I had chosen to devote my summer to the mission of God – for the first time not just timidly stepping but fully leaping from the safety of the boat and into the raging seas, certain that with God’s help I would stand above the waves. I had heard numerous reports from students who in the same spirit had sought to show the love of Christ to the world and had in return been filled with a boundless joy which they could only ascribe to God.
I arrived in Moscow nervous but hopeful, expecting to accomplish great things for the kingdom. The reality of my own ineptitude soon became all too clear. You see, I am an introvert. I love spending time with people, but it often leaves me feeling drained and exhausted. I had tested the limits of my endurance and came up short. While I have many fond memories of my time in Moscow, I nonetheless returned to the States perplexed and disoriented. I became jaded instead of joyful, cynical instead of fulfilled. Confusion overshadowed my previous optimism, and I became doubtful and mistrusting of God. I had firmly believed that if I only surrendered myself in service to the gospel, then God would provide me with the chance to enact powerful good. I thought that if I would simply step out of the boat, taking that crucial leap of faith, then I could walk on water. It never occurred to me that I might be stepping out of the wrong boat.
God, of course, desired to use my gifts to advance his mission. Yet my gifts, I soon discovered, were not rooted in adventure. I had traveled over land and sea in search of Jesus only to discover he was with me all along. My quest, while admirable, had been largely unnecessary. God had equipped me with gifts which did not require me to get on a plane or travel to an unfamiliar place. The same may be true for you.
This is not a call to excuses or idleness. This is a call to action — the right kind of action. If you are like me and the thought of new places and people scares more than excites, consider that God has other plans for you. While changes in life are inevitable and should be met with confidence, your faith does not have to be an arduous journey from one exasperating venture to the next. Getting out of one’s comfort zone for its own sake is more arbitrary than godly. I serve best in the quiet spaces: slowly and with time. It may be the same for many of you.
While you may never carry the gospel to an unreached group of people, you can be a catalyst for change in any context. Serve as a unifying presence in a tense situation. Reconcile a fractured friendship. Model virtues like confession and forgiveness, which, though valued abstractly, remain sorely neglected. Be the sort of person whose patience and kindness will pave the way for a faith conversation down the road. If adventurous, extravagant service sounds like a recipe for personal disaster, then consider that perhaps God is calling you to serve him through some other avenue. This will require creative thinking. It will require missional imagination. Yet it is a task which you are ultimately equipped to fulfill. Cultivate a missional lifestyle that suits your innate, God-given abilities. You may be surprised at the number of opportunities which lie untapped all around you. So as you pursue Christ, do so with a spirit of discernment and with ears wide open to his call.
