Ispent my summer living in Washington, D.C., for a journalism internship, but most days I commuted to Alexandria, Va., right outside D.C., for work. After living in Searcy and being at Harding for the last three years I’d gotten used to minimum traffic and (for the most part) maximum chivalry.
But in D.C., public transportation during rush hour is crowded and chaotic. The morning Metro in the bustling city is like a crate full of people overflowing onto the platform at every stop. There are rarely enough seats and sometimes barely enough room to stand. One particularly crowded morning this summer as I stood squished between pencil skirts and blazers commuting to my internship, I overheard a conversation between two (seated) middle-aged guys that went something like this:
Guy one: “I know we’re supposed to be chivalrous and all but I’m not standing up.”
Guy two: “Yeah they’re probably all feminist businesswomen anyway. If they want equal rights here they are: the equal right to stand.”
Guy one: “Feminism has basically killed chivalry and I’m fine with it.”
As I stood there listening to their conversation, I became increasingly aggravated and it made me start thinking about the way our society views feminism. Girls like to complain about how there “aren’t any good guys left” and that “chivalry is dead.” Well I guess you can put part of the blame on feminism. I know I can’t really speak for guys, but I get the feeling that if women act like they can do everything themselves, men will be less likely to fulfill any sort of chivalrous duties.
Rather than fighting for equal rights and treatment, the feminist movement has become a sort of anti-feminine movement. One of my favorite Onion articles is titled, “Woman Takes Short Half-Hour Break From Being Feminist To Enjoy TV Show.” It goes on to (satirically) explain that a young woman wanted to watch “Say Yes to the Dress” and accept the stereotypical gender role that the mainstream media dictates.
I’m completely capable of opening doors myself, standing on the Metro, holding a job, and watching football on TV. But I’m also completely capable of letting guys open a door for me, sitting down, being a stay-at-home mom someday and watching wedding shows for hours on end. “Feminism” has taken on a rather negative connotation and seems to dictate that women attempt to take on the same (or better) roles that men have.
Rather than pushing equality with men, feminism should push the right to do whatever you want. It’s funny how the words “feminine” and “feminist” sound so alike, yet carry such different meanings.
Being feminine is completely and entirely OK. Keeping chivalry alive is even better.
Guys innately have the need to be respected while women have the need to be loved. The two go hand in hand, but we need to stop trying to erase gender roles. They exist for a reason. Men and women were created differently but equal. Equality does not necessarily need to equal sameness. Erasing gender roles isn’t the way to create equality.
Tuesday marked the 94th anniversary of women being able to vote, also called Women’s Equality Day. I’m all for women’s equality, and I think most Americans feel the same way, but I already have the right to do everything a man can do.
I understand the good intentions that feminists have, but with all the baggage that word carries, I don’t even want to call myself a feminist.
In order for feminism to truly be effective, it needs to stop killing chivalry. And in order for chivalry to stay alive, there need to be feminine feminists.
