Perhaps it’s a faux pas on my part for failing to realize it, but Spring Sing snuck up on me this year. I remember the exact moment I knew it was upon us: I was strolling through the front lawn when I saw a life size green alien from “Toy Story.” After I stifled my screams (those things are a lot more lovable on the silver screen), I quickly surveyed campus. Ah yes, the grass had been sprayed with green goop, delicious smells wafted from the cafeteria and students walked with an extra pep in their step; in short, everything was suspicious. I knew instantly we had been invaded.
However, this wasn’t an alien invasion a la Spielberg. No, brethren, this was much better. It was a Spring Sing invasion. The extraterrestrial wasn’t my only clue that campus was under attack. I found glitter in my Fruit Loops. I heard Dr. Claxton humming “United We Stand.” I saw the President’s Council doing the Harlem Shake. Paparazzi from the Petit Jean and The Bison crowded the stage door to the Benson in hopes of a glimpse at the five hosts and hostesses. Once, in the student center, I was ambushed by singing cowgirls and snarling bikers. When I mouthed off in my music history class, Dr. Ganus told me to “step ball change your attitude.” My math teacher kept repeating “five-six-seven-eight” throughout the whole class. What is this madness? Perhaps I am engaging in hyperbole, but you get the gist. I’m sure I’m not the only unsuspecting student who has been caught up in this hysteria. To help others cope with this onslaught of joy and unbridled optimism, I have compiled a list of 10 ways to enjoy Spring Sing weekend:
1. Start a sing-along with Dr. Burks. Word on the street is his favorites are Simon and Garfunkel, old Johnny Cash and “I Will Always Love You” by Whitney Houston.
2. Initiate a flash mob in class. Teachers will find this engaging. Or enraging. I couldn’t read the hastily written response letter.
3. Sing break-up songs to dorm lobby couples. See above.
4. Dress a squirrel in a sequined tuxedo. If you succeed with this one, standing ovation for you, my friend.
5. Go see another Spring Sing show. Since ours has instruments, there’s a good bet Ouachita Baptist does theirs a capella.
6. Ask a club director for his/her autograph. Hard work deserves to be rewarded with adoring fandom, and these people have put in thousands of hours of work.
7. Start a tournament bracket with the Spring Sing shows. This is difficult with seven shows, so make the ensemble numbers your eighth seed.
8. Line up for the show three to four hours before it opens. This doesn’t benefit you, but I’ll get a good laugh.
9. Wear a Spring Sing costume to Easter service. This will confuse some and astonish the rest.
Last, but certainly not least, go see the show. Friends and classmates have put in hundreds of hours to produce a satisfying product, and I’m sure you will leave cheering. You will re-live the joy of summer camp. You will hear The King and Queen. You will revel in nostalgia over the sweet strains of the Backstreet Boys, the second greatest boy band from the 90s. You will shriek at the sight of zombies, cheer for Olympians and you might even cry a river. In short, prepare for a “thriller” of a weekend.
