What would I do if I ruled the world?
Well, my first act as Emperor John Mark the First would be to abolish all awkward situations from the face of the earth.
My life seems to be nothing more than a constant series of uncomfortable situations running through my existence like dominoes set up in a grand design only to be knocked over in rippling succession. From my days as the bullied kid in the youth group to my long stint as sports editor last year, my life has always been nothing less than ironic. My mother has a motto: “Life is never boring in the Adkison house.”
I remember my first day of school as the new kid in Gorham, Maine, as I wandered aimlessly around the large cafeteria trying to find someone to sit with. I was forced to sit with the Vietnamese student who spoke little English and random girls who asked me if I wore boxers or briefs. Then there was the time I got my tassel stuck in my mouth while giving a speech at graduation, or the time I tripped over a step while carrying the communion trays (why do they have to be so bulky?) or the other time I told a couple I knew how I thought they would have a great marriage, only to find out they had broken up the minute before I walked up to them.
Awkward situations arise when we suddenly find ourselves outside of our normal world, outside of our comfort zones. We do not know how to react, what to say next or which exit we should take out of the situation. Does anyone else have crawling memories of first semester freshman year coming to mind?
I was not one of those students who came to Harding accompanied by his youth group or entire high school class. I had to step out of my dorm room and go searching for friends if I wanted to have them. I remember praying to the Good Lord Above every time I walked into the cafeteria for lunch that I would find somebody I knew so that I would not have to sit by myself. I remember at times feeling like the model awkward freshman.
So, are you an awkward freshman having trouble in the social arena of Harding University? Or, are you an upperclassman still caught in a perpetual discomfort zone whenever you leave your dorm? Well, if you are, I have a solution for you: Get out of your room. Get involved in something. And get active. Turn off the X-Box, ditch the Netflix and stop chatting on Facebook with your long-distance significant other. Try to join a social club, get involved with a service committee, go for a walk and see what happens or just go to Heber Springs on any given Saturday. Of course you are going to run into awkward situations. Of course you are not always going to be sure what to do. And of course the club mixers are going to be weird (you have 90 club members each asking your name, major and point of origin over and over again; it’s hard breaking the ice 50 different times a day).
Now, while it would sufficiently be hard to legally abolish awkward moments, I would simply cite the old mantra: “It is not awkward unless you say it is.” Even if you are not a social bon vivant with people skills, you are not awkward unless you believe you are.
