Written by Kyle Binkley
The All-Star game. Not the Pro Bowl, not the American League vs. the National League fighting for that home spot in the playoffs, not the Miami Heat on a daily basis, but the NBA All-Star game.
The All-Star break is my favorite time, nix the playoffs, of the season.With trade deadlines getting closer, the midseason point when Dan Gilbert can finally call an “oops” in claiming his Cavaliers would win a championship without LeBron James, and with Blake “Oh-I-Thought-the-Dunk-Contest-Was-Every-Game” Griffin in the dunk contest, I find myself excited. Actually, as giddy as Kevin Garnett screaming “Anything is possible.” Especially seeing my boys Kevin Durant and Russell Westbrook on the West Squad. (That’s right; I’m a Thunder fan. For the record, I did not jump on the bandwagon after a Thunder run at the eventual champions; I was there for the 23-59 inaugural season, and I was there for Game 4 of the first round last season when Kobe Bryant left the game early because KD was stomping all over his four rings.)
With some surprises (Yao Ming’s army of a billion voters? Kevin Love only at David Stern’s request? Aging Tim Duncan?) and some sure fits (LeBron, Kobe, Dwyane Wade, KD, Chris Paul, Derrick Rose), I wonder what the other 99 percent of the NBA felt when they didn’t get called to Los Angeles this year.
Maybe LaMarcus Aldridge is dominating anyone who sets foot on his Trail, just to say, “Yao Ming … really?” Or Tony Parker raining floaters, dropping dimes and running the court with two other All-Stars only to watch it in his recently empty home (unless Eva Longoria took the flat-screen)?
Is Zach Randolph, after putting up 20 and 13 a night, sitting in Memphis, Tenn., wondering if he’d be an All-Star if he could get at least one dunk this season, lose 30 pounds and lay off the Rendezvous ribs for every pre- and post-game meal? (Now we all know Darko Milicic is at home with his mentor Shawn Bradley on speed dial, Greg “Benjamin Button” Oden limping to get the Tostitos and Kwame Brown telling the story of how Michael Jordan personally picked him … again.)
No, the guys who don’t get picked should be noticed too. They should get some spotlight. A little recognition now and again doesn’t hurt anyone, right? (Besides Paul Pierce, but no one likes him, anyway.) So I’ve decided to make up my own All-Star squad. This squad consists of the team players, the eighth man off the bench and the hard workers who rarely get recognition day in and day out. Ladies and gentlemen, the Role-Stars:
- Center:Reggie Evans (Toronto Raptors) — I had never heard of him either, until fantasy this year. I picked him up as a free agent and haven’t regretted it. Although he has been hurt half the season, he still puts up 4 points and 13 boards. A Ben-Wallace-pre-Trade stat. One random stat earlier this season: 1 point, 17 boards. Yes, please.
- Power Forward:Nick Collison (Oklahoma City Thunder) — I know, he’s a Thunder boy, but University of Kansas fans everywhere are agreeing with me. He is leading the league with 1.7 charges taken per game; I don’t need to know anything else.
- Small Forward:Danny Granger (Indiana Pacers) — There are two things holding professional basketball afloat in Indiana: Reggie Miller jerseys still for sale at every game, and this guy. With 21 points, 6 rbs, 3 ast, I’ll take him and take Indiana basketball back to the Larry Bird days.
- Shooting Guard:Michael Jordan (Anywhere he wants) — Why? He should be the starting SG on every All-Star squad ever. Seriously, the East should start four, and if MJ shows up to play, he plays … and Paul Pierce gets kicked off the team.
- Point Guard:Luke Ridnour (Minnesota Timberwolves) — Only 6 feet 2 inches, 175 pounds, he looks like Frodo trying to take the Ring (basketball) to Mount Doom (the basket). Ridnour can hit a well-placed 10-foot floater or a spot up three, but he looks for teammates first. He would be a great addition to the already high-scoring front court.
- Bench:Rudy Gay (Memphis Grizzlies) — Ridnour needs someone to catch his oops. Lamar Odom (Los Angeles Lakers) — He is one of the most under-appreciated role players in the NBA. And Marcin Gortat (Phoenix Suns) — His nickname is the “Polish Hammer.”
- Coach:Byron Scott (Cleveland Cavaliers) — He needs to win something this season.
- Announcers:Bill Walton — His analogies are unparalleled, and his gift for pointing out the obvious is second-to-none. James Earl Jones — It’s my team, and I can choose who I want. I think Darth Vader announcing an All-Star game is a dream for at least three of us on the planet.
- Side-Line Reporter:The kid from the “Boom Goes the Dynamite” YouTube video — He is allowed to use his signature line only when Collison takes a charge.
- Mascot:Stuff (Orlando Magic) — I had the privilege of seeing this magical dragon with no pants in person. Anytime he came within 500 feet of me, I waved impulsively. That has never has that happened with a mascot. Ever.
All votes for the All-Role Team are final and not up for discussion. If you think you have a squad to rival mine, I’d love to hear it (but if you mention Paul Pierce I’ll make you pay for my coffee). Keep your eye out for my Role-Stars; they may never be in the Hall of Fame, the NBA finals or even a single All-Star game, but these guys know their role, know the game and will play hard from buzzer to buzzer.
