Written by Cody Waits
I hate Coldplay. I said it. It doesn’t matter what you say to me. I will not change my mind. I will not budge. I will not falter. I don’t care how many mission trip videos I see with “Fix You” as the background music. I absolutely hate Coldplay.Now that I have made my confession that absolutely shocked students at Harding’s campus, I am forced to apologize for doing so. I am sorry.Let me introduce myself. I am Cody. It is nice to finally meet you. My interests include watching millions of movies, reading books and listening to music. I listen to all different genres of music. Name a genre,and I can probably find at least one song that I will like. Some of my favorite bands/artists include Mates of State, Chiddy Bang, Lady Antebellum, Bob Dylan, The Avett Brothers, Kanye West and many more. Some of you may have started making fun of me at this point.Tha tis where I will try to help you. As you already know, I have expressed how much I dislike a certain band. This band is also one of the most famous bands of our time. This has to leave many people wondering how I can think such a thing, especially about their favorite band. However, I am not the only person who thinks this. I am also not the only person to ever dislike a band. I would like to take a stance that I feel not a lot of people take. There is an epidemic spreading across this nation. It is called “music elitism.”The symptoms include making fun of someone’s musical taste, logging significant hours on Pitchfork.com, raving about bands no one has heard of and then putting people down for not being as knowledgeable as them, hating a band as soon as it is heard on the radio or viewed on MTV, turning off the radio immediately when getting in a car out of hatred for popular music, hating a band because your favorite band hated them first and finally, fun-sucking. If you encounter any one of these people, leave immediately. Do not engage this person. Your feelings will only get hurt, or you will get ignored completely. Do not even try to impress them with music knowledge. You will get crushed. These people are not to be trifled with. There is also no type of rehabilitation for these people.If you find yourself reading this and are suffering from some of these symptoms, you probably put thenewspaper down or threw it away because it wasn’t cool enough. If you are still reading, I have one request. Stop being so mean. Does it make you feel better to point out how much Five Iron Frenzy isn’t lyrically inept to the kid who listens to Christian Ska? It shouldn’t. If you don’t like a band, you don’t like them. That doesn’t mean that you stomp on the people who do. I hate Coldplay, but I don’t hate the people who do like them. I also try not to be so mean to them for their poor music choice. I just ask that people reach out to those who think they are on that higher tier of musicdom and need to come down from that cloud. Spread the message and fight music elitism. If we get enough people, we might be able to get some of those rubber bracelets.CODY WAITS is a guest contributor for the Bison. He may be contacted atcwaits@harding.edu
