Written by John Michael Young
The huge spotlight and impact of the Wiki Leaks release has led to the website’s banner being taken up and copycatted on many smaller stages across the globe. On Harding’s campus we’ve seen just such a scenario arise as an anonymous Brackett Library student worker/whistleblower has recently released more than 100 documents to the public. These documents, which include e-mails, faxes, inner office memos, Post-its and library overdue notices with notes and doodles on them, contain a slew of interesting and previously unknown facts about the Brackett. Many of these tidbits contain details our information hub would have presumably preferred to have kept a closed book. Some of the more notable facts gleaned from this release are summarized below.-Due to being checked out and perpetually put on hold, no C.S. Lewis book has touched an actual Brackett Library shelf for decades.-Due to their positions’ prestige and busy schedules, officers in the SA are granted access to the library all the way until curfew.This time is typically unproductive as their researching and studying usually dissolves into a game of “Sardines.”-The Brackett Library used to be a male residence hall.The only remnants from the 1950 renovation are the small study rooms upstairs which have found a new use after formerly being dorm rooms on the freshman wings.-The eyes of every portrait hanging in the Brackett are actually cameras for the library’s closed circuit TV surveillance system.-A proposal has been green-lighted to start taking overdue fines out of students’ DCB.-In an effort to keep Brackett Library copy machines as confusing and ineffective as possible, library staff receive no training on using these machines, which additionally have not updated despite scheduled and budgeted replacements. This is because revenue from copy machine use is the university’s third-highest money producer behind parking tickets and change thrown in the lily pond.-The “B” button on the elevator does not lead to the basement, but to Dr. Burks’ office – “Willy Wonka” style.-All the good books are kept hidden in the back behind the circulation desk. Video games, Blu-ray discs, Dead Sea Scrolls and iPads too.-After years of stalled construction, the approval for Java City’s being added to the library came after an alarming increase in the amount of students using the library as a nap space. Librarians hoped its presence would keep the students awake and alert for their studies – not because of the caffeine, but as a result of thejarring industrial noises that continually come from the establishment. Plans to add a mobile coffee cart near the padded black chairs on the second floor are already in the works.-Contrary to popular belief, the door sensors don’t pick up on any unauthorized bar codes that pass through it (that kind of technology has yet to be invented), but are actually set off by guilty consciences. While this catches upwards of 90 percent of all library materials that have not been permitted to leave, it also causes the alarm to go off unnecessarily; sometimes even when a library patron might not be carrying anything except for the weight of knowing that they used their last chapel skip that morning.-The glassed-in books on the second floor can only be used by graduating seniors majoring in Defense Against the Dark Arts … I mean Bible.A full-scale investigation has been launched to find the source of these leaks. It remains to be seen what the repercussions will be for both the library in regards to this newfound information as well as the currently anonymous whistleblower if he/she were to be caught. Personally, this writer believes that the anonymous library worker should be hailed as a hero and receive his/her fair due: being featured on a READ poster.*Disclaimer: None of the information or facts in this article are true (except possibly the one about C.S. Lewis books). The Brackett Library is a productive, vibrant place, capital W Wonderful place that has no dirty laundry nor dirty little secrets, no skeletons in the closets or book stacks, no conspiracies, no evil plots and last, but not least, no sinister ulterior motives beyond making studying as fun as humanly possible.JOHN MICHAEL YOUNG is a guest contributor for the Bison. He may be contacted atjyoung5@harding.edu
