Written by MaryCaitlin Tanksley
We all have the potential to be brilliant, beautiful leaders. We all have the potential to shine, to be the best version of ourselves.
Disturbingly, a large percentage of us do not rise to the occasion and continue to make the same bad choices. There is nothing more discouraging than when those around us conform in weakness and accept the ways of the world.
At this point in our lives, we can no longer make exceptions for hatred, self-centeredness and slandering. No longer should we surround ourselves with those who bring false hope, those who lie and cheat their way through life or those who desire to cut others down only to build themselves up. Now is the time that we remove such garbage from our lives unless we plan on being miserable.
In my time here at Harding, I’ve made many different friends, most whom I still know, but we parted ways with time. I also had relationships that came and went, each more eye-opening than the other. I discovered what it meant to be loyal, trustworthy and honest even in the hardest of times. That is not to say I did not slip up along the way, but I’ve made sure to learn from my own mistakes as well as those of others. All in all, I am no longer naíve about people, different personality types and the baggage attached with many relationships.
Finding those true friends or “gems” as I like to call them, is not effortless; in fact, I believe our search for these “gems” is a life-long process. On the other hand, I wholeheartedly believe true friends are essential to find and keep in our lives. In many cases, we have to sort through and discard many “rotten apples” to obtain those worth keeping. I know so many can relate, whether in regards to a so-called “best” friend or beloved significant other — someone we trust. We will discover someone for who they truly are in time. The truth always makes its way to the surface.
Identifying someone’s true colors can be very refreshing and enlightening, or it can be very upsetting and life-changing. Either way, the discovery of someone’s heart can change us. We should strive to surround ourselves with those who uplift us and bring joy to our lives. For some, we choose to preserve meaningless relationships that only bring us down. If this is ever the situation, removing yourself is essential for your soul! Otherwise, you will reap the negative effects of those one-sided, heartless relationships.
My mom always reminds me that “a spade is a spade.” Often, we try to defend someone’s true intentions, make excuses for them or even blame ourselves. Being hateful is just that! Lying is lying, and no one is to blame except for the one doing so. Manipulation and narcissism should never be down-played. One phrase I live by is, “It is what it is,” meaning it is reality, and trying to beat around the bush or sugarcoat a situation is not the answer. If you find yourself always making excuses for a friend, significant others or a loved one, stop! A spade is a spade,and we cannot change one’s true intentions.
As heart-wrenching as it can be coming to terms with and distinguishing a person’s true self, I have found it to be a blessing. In times like these, we can gain knowledge and wisdom. We discover the negative influences in our lives, and we always discover the “gems.” When we remove the negative in our lives, we are spared from a continuous rollercoaster of drama and devastating betrayal. In times like these, we are given the chance to stand up for what is right, rather than settle for a false sense of security, friendship and love.
Paul states in Philippians 3:19, “Their destiny is destruction, their god is their stomach and their glory is their shame. Their mind is on earthly things.” I quote this Scripture because Paul conveys the truth in such a bold manner. Not once does he try to sugarcoat the ways of man, and he points out the “wolves” in their truest form.
There are many “wolves” among us in the world and on this campus. I’ve come face to face with many wolves among the sheep as many of us have; it is a part of life that cannot be avoided. The “Harding Bubble” does not exist, nor will it ever. I’ve seen evil in its ripest form in my dorms, classes and in many of my former-trusted friendships.
Yes, we all sin. Yes, we all make mistakes, but there are those among us who go above and beyond to hurt people and find satisfaction in doing so. If this kind of sick, disgusting behavior is in your life, run from it and never look back. You cannot change someone, especially when that person is unwilling to change. Why continue to get caught up with those who wreak havoc in your life and pull you away from your spiritual happiness?
As Christians, we will experience this problem enough, especially when leaving this school. If you have a spine, you will do what is right and stop encouraging people to continue behaving this way.
Because of sin, there is pain – something we are all well aware of. Because there is evil, we will suffer on this earth. Betrayal will occur, lies will be uttered, friendships and love will fall between your fingers like sand. Now is the time to ask yourself what you believe in and you want in life. Now is the time to seek happiness as Paul did and boldly stand against evil. Find those “gems” and count your blessings. If you’ve been hurt or betrayed, hold your head up high; you are only stronger because of it. Most importantly, never back down from the devil, and always look to God because he is unfailing and the one Truth.
