Written by Michael Newsome
There was a point in my life when my parents thought I was antisocial. Looking back at it, I do not think I was antisocial as much as I was anti- the ones I did not want to love. I always appeared to be friendly. I went to parties and hung out with people. But amid all of that, I forgot about the ones whom I did not consider my friends. I left out the ones who may not have had friends to hang out with or who were not invited to parties. It was not until I read the verse that says “love your neighbor as yourself” in Mark 12:31 that I was convicted of my lack of love.
At that same point in my life, I was depressed. I never let anyone know, but deep down inside, I hated myself with a passion. I felt like everything I did was wrong. All my words seemed confusing to others, and even when I smiled and put on the act of “Oh, I am just fine,” I was mentally boxing inside, trying as hard as I could to achieve a knock out.
Those were the hardest times of my life. I felt like I needed to be locked up in an asylum. Every time life felt like it was closing in on me, though, there was always a glimmer of hope. There was a girl I liked, and whenever I talked to her, I would feel loved. I always knew that my parents loved me, and others told me that I was loved, but I seemed never to feel it like I should have. I knew I was supposed to love others with the same kind of love that I showed myself, but I do not think I actually knew what that meant.
“Love your neighbor as yourself” in Mark 12:31. Wait a second, if I hated who God had made me, then how could I love others? I kept beating myself up over every little thing. Would I do that same thing to others? Of course not. That is what the verse is saying, though. If I do not respect myself as God created me, then there is no way I can love others like I am supposed to.
We are not supposed to be prideful or self-centered, but we are supposed to let God mold us into his image. We are supposed to fear God and shun evil according to Proverbs 3:7. We need to let our light shine on its stand, and not hide it Matthew 5:16 says.
If we feel like everyone is against us, there is a problem deep within our hearts. We cannot control the results of what we do, but we can control the circumstances. We can be devoted to God’s word as it says in Acts 2:42. We can obey God and love him like in Deuteronomy 11:1. We can love others as it says in Matthew 5:44. We can let God guide us as in Proverbs 3:6. God promises great things to those who love him and follow his will in 1 John 2:17.
When I look back on this new kind of love I am supposed to have for others, I want to change who I am and let God take control of my life. I want to be able to flee immorality and pursue God’s righteousness like in 1 Thessalonians 4:3. It is the only way I am able to have true love for others like the same kind of love Christ had for us when he laid down his life.
