Derek Stingley Jr. caught his first interception as an Louisiana State University Tiger Sept. 21. Some who saw the name Stingley projected across the stadium may have remembered his grandfather, Darryl Stingley. Darryl played for the New England Patriots for five years until a devastating hit left him quadriplegic. It was this same quadriplegia that complicated the pneumonia and heart disease that he died from in 2007.
An injury like this would have been enough to turn a family away from football, but the Stingleys were different. Despite his injury, Darryl encouraged his son Derek Sr., father of Derek Jr., to pursue his dreams of playing football, saying that his injury was a “freak accident.”
Derek Sr. ended up pursuing his dreams as he went on to play college football, then played football for the Arena Football League, and now coaches the Shanghai Skywalkers in that same league. Derek Sr. had encouraged his son to follow his dream as well, and even let him practice with some of the professional players that he was coaching. This landed Derek Jr. in Nashville last Saturday, with a smile on his face and his eyes toward the skies.
It is common to follow in the footsteps of your parents or grandparents, especially if they have left a legacy. I’ve seen this with classmates who decide to be business majors solely because they are getting ready to take over their parents’ businesses, or with kids who grow up thinking that they have to compete at the same level that their parents did athletically. But this isn’t everyone’s story, and it certainly isn’t mine.
When I was little, I wanted to be a meteorologist …. then I wanted to be a comedian, then a lawyer, then a teacher, then a sports broadcaster and then a teacher again. I really didn’t have a set goal or dream growing up because I didn’t have a huge, profound legacy to live up to, as my father is a correctional officer, and my mom is an accountant, and I was never really interested in doing either of those things.
Because I wasn’t bound to a certain destiny, I was able to explore so many things that I could possibly be interested in, and that led me into the things that I love. Theatre and writing are two huge passions of mine, two things that most parents probably view as hobbies or interests that lead to unstable careers. Despite the stigma, my parents saw that this was what I enjoyed doing, and they saw that this brought me joy.
They stood by my side through every play that I didn’t get cast in, every sloppy first draft and every miserable first attempt. They say you have to fall before you can run, but we tend to forget the people who pick us up after the fall, and my parents were always those people.
In a way, my parents did create a legacy. They gave me a blueprint of the kind of parent that I want to be. Sure, it’s not perfect, but it’s something that I aspire to live up to. My dreams and aspirations aren’t defined by what career I’ll have and how great I’ll be in it; instead I want to be the kind of encouragers that my parents are.
Parents: Legacies don’t have to be grand accomplishments and long-lasting achievements. Legacies are the time you invest in your children and the values and examples that you set for them. They are going to look up to you and watch how you handled the failures and successes. So fight through when it gets hard and humbly rejoice in the victories.
Non-parents: Don’t be afraid to create your own legacy, and don’t be afraid to pursue a new dream. Find something that you truly take joy and passion in, and use it to spread joy and light. Lastly, remember that no matter what situation you may come from, you have a heavenly father who loves you and isn’t waiting for you to stumble, but is instead eagerly awaiting each victory to come.
Derek Stingley Jr. walked off the field Sept. 21 with a win for his team and a win for his family. Who are you looking up to, and what do you hope to leave behind?