Written by Michael Wester<\/p>\n\n\n\n
We\u2019ve all heard it before: A woman is telling a story about an uncomfortable or traumatizing encounter with a man, and some well-meaning individual responds with some variation of \u201cI\u2019m sorry that happened to you, but you know most men are nice guys.\u201d\u00a0<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Maybe it\u2019s in response to the familiar refrain that \u201cmen are trash\u201d or something along those lines, but the phrase \u201cnot all men\u201d is commonly used as a rebuttal by people who seek to defend the good men out there and prove they would never be anything like those horrible men in those stories all of their female friends have. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, over 50% of women have experienced physical sexual violence in their lifetime, and another study reported that 90% of the sexual violence committed against women was done by men. Obviously, these stats don\u2019t mean every man is a perpetrator, and that\u2019s not the point I\u2019m trying to make, but a question I think we need to ask ourselves is just how many are \u201cnot all men,\u201d and what are they doing about it?<\/p>\n\n\n\n
When looking at the realities of what women deal with in our society, I\u2019m sure we would all agree that the majority of us reading this are not sexual predators, but is that really the ceiling we should be striving for? In a world where one in three women will most likely experience some form of sexual harassment, \u201cnot all men\u201d isn\u2019t good enough. It\u2019s easy to sit back in outrage and point fingers at \u201cthose other men,\u201d but if our moral superiority lies in simply not doing bad things to women, then maybe it\u2019s time to take a look in the mirror. <\/p>\n\n\n\n
Not harassing women is good, but being an ally to women means doing more than just the bare minimum. Rape culture can be more subtle than just physical violence and assault, and it\u2019s perpetuated by every man when we allow sexist comments and jokes to flow unchecked by the other men in our circles. When another guy makes a sexist comment or joke, will we sit there and tell ourselves that we would never say something so awful, or will we speak up and say something about it? The next time a woman shares her experiences, will we take that opportunity to invalidate her, or will we truly sit, listen and internalize in order to change? <\/p>\n\n\n\n
The time of sitting around and patting ourselves on the back for being \u201cgood guys\u201d is over. If we continue to watch and do nothing, our silence becomes violence and our good intentions meaningless. Not all men? It\u2019s time to prove it. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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