Students gathered at the steps of the George S. Benson Auditorium for a vigil in honor of junior Mary Joy Uebelein on Tuesday, March 19, but the impact of her life still reaches across campus.<\/p>\n
Grief is universal, but the same event will affect everyone differently based on the personal relationship with the person who died, according to university counselor Briana Cunningham. For those directly impacted, she suggests patience during the process of grief.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt\u2019s about learning a new normal that doesn\u2019t include the physical presence of the person but honors the impact of their lives,\u201d Cunningham said.<\/p>\n
Sherry Pollard, assistant director of the Counseling Center, has worked for Harding for nearly 40 years, and she has seen a great gathering from the community during times of loss. She said cards, letters, concern and lots of hugs often accompany the wake.<\/p>\n
\u201cI just think that\u2019s a beautiful thing that you don\u2019t have to suffer alone,\u201d Pollard said.<\/p>\n
The ones more personally touched may not have started to grieve yet, according to Pollard, and each individual deals with it differently. She said they may go through the stages of grief \u2014 denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance \u2014 in different orders or skipping steps.<\/p>\n
For those who did not know Mary Joy personally, Pollard said they will probably remember her name for many years to come.<\/p>\n
\u201cThey may think they need to say the perfect words, find the perfect phrase or take the perfect gift when there is no such thing, and many times, they just need to be a listening ear and a presence that\u2019s available if needed,\u201d Pollard said.<\/p>\n
In the Bible, Job\u2019s friends did the best thing during the first seven days of their visit when they said nothing, as Cunningham said. She also suggests praying with and for those grieving, offering small acts of kindness and avoiding cliche quick answers.<\/p>\n
\u201cIt is important to realize that grief can\u2019t be fixed or prayed away,\u201d Cunningham said. \u201cIt takes time.\u201d<\/p>\n
Sophomore John Lim first learned of Mary Joy\u2019s accident on his way to North Carolina for spring break. Throughout the week, he and his friends followed the story, and he said he noticed from others\u2019 posts that Mary Joy was someone who had a huge Christ-like impact on people.<\/p>\n
\u201cWhat went through my head was, I want to offer a prayer,\u201d Lim said. \u201cI find I do that best when I put it into words and write it out.\u201d<\/p>\n
Lim wrote the blog post \u201cOf Light and Joy: A Tribute to Mary Joy,\u201d which offers what he calls a \u201cstranger\u2019s prayer\u201d in honor of Mary Joy.<\/p>\n
\u201cAs crushing as the situation is, Mary Joy brought people together, reminding us that we are not alone in these sufferings,\u201d Lim wrote in the blog post.<\/p>\n
Grief can be a rollercoaster, according to Cunningham. She said someone can cycle through denial, anger, guilt, acceptance and numbness, but with time, joy returns.Years later, grief might resurface, but she said this is all a part of the process.<\/p>\n
\u201cIn time, with love and support of friends, family and sometimes counseling and support groups, there can be a full life that also celebrates their loved one,\u201d Cunningham said.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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