I don\u2019t know how you feel about re-gifting, but I\u2019ve dipped into the \u201cJust the Clax\u201d archives and recycled a column from November 2011. The article is only seven years old, but since it mentions two famous stores that both closed this year, I wanted to bring it back to pay tribute to the architects of my childhood empire of toys.<\/p>\n
\u201cThere are four ways you can know that the Christmas season is upon us these days. First, the calendar switches from July to August. Second, the illuminated Harding campus becomes visible from Jupiter. Third, the Little Debbie Cherry Cordials snack cakes go on sale, and at least one person in America gets excited. And most important of all, the Toys R Us holiday catalog arrives in Sunday\u2019s paper.<\/p>\n
Looking through the 80-page insert (with its slightly irreverent logo, \u201cToys to the World\u201d), I couldn\u2019t help rewinding my brain to 1978. At age six, there were three things I looked forward to in life: hot oatmeal, the next \u2018Star Wars\u2019 movie and the Sears Wish Book. Our neighbor worked for the famous retail giant, and every year in late November, he would quietly put an advance copy of that massive Christmas catalog in our mailbox.<\/p>\n
A thousand full-color pages of toys, and I had it before anyone else. This made me the most popular kid on Amalfi Drive. It was a short street, so it didn\u2019t take much.<\/p>\n
Young people who have grown up with the internet may have trouble understanding the cosmic annual event that was the arrival of the Wish Book. While Saturday morning commercials provided tantalizing glimpses of the wonders available each Christmas season, no kid could fully claim that he had seen the Promised Land before eyeing the riches inside that four-pound tome.<\/p>\n
Picture after glossy picture of board games, Lego sets, action figures, Slinkies, guns, swords, basketballs, super heroes, G. I. Joes, stuff for girls (I skipped those pages), electronics, disguise kits, Big Wheels, bikes, scooters, Weebles and enough Star Wars bling to stock a galaxy. Looking through that enticing volume, I could picture myself on December 25, \u201cplunging into the cornucopia,\u201d as little Ralphie says in \u201cA Christmas Story,\u201d \u201cquivering with desire and the ecstasy of unbridled avarice.\u201d<\/p>\n
The toys in this book shaped our destinies. For the budding English teacher, there was Speak and Spell. The future electrician had Lite Brite. The upcoming traveler and karate expert needed the Kick and Go. Junior politicians could ask for the Sit and Spin. Destined to be a primatologist? Get a Monchhichi Monkey. It was a glorious book.<\/p>\n
By contrast, I found the flimsy Toys R Us pamphlet that fell out of Sunday\u2019s newspaper somewhat lacking in gravitas. You can\u2019t drop it on the kitchen table with a resounding \u201cthud\u201d to let your parents know they had better start saving money. You can\u2019t dog-ear hundreds of pages while making that first-draft, go-for-broke Christmas list. And you definitely can\u2019t put a brown paper cover on it and pretend it\u2019s your math textbook. Like some people did. Other people.<\/p>\n
However, it was comforting to know that some things haven\u2019t changed. On page one of this year\u2019s Toys R Us wish leaflet, I found a \u201cMuppet Whatnot Kit,\u201d a generic puppet complete with assorted wigs, noses and eyes. It\u2019s the Jim Henson version of Mr. Potato Head, but it brought back memories of that banner year when I got a Kermit the Frog toy, a Muppet board game and \u201cThe Muppet Show Book.\u201d I pulled that book down from the shelf just now and read the inscription: \u201cFor Michael, Christmas 1978, from Papa.\u201d<\/p>\n
And it amazes me that over 30 years later, Toys R Us still devotes a few pages to Star Wars, with a Tie-Fighter on the cover. 1978 was also the year I racked up on Lucasfilm products, with an inflatable, glow-in-the-dark lightsaber, a Millennium Falcon ship and a 12-inch-tall Darth Vader action figure complete with cloth cape. It\u2019s on the shelf now, too, still in the original box. I\u2019m accepting bids through next Thursday.<\/p>\n
So, what if the new toy catalog is full of violent video games, expensive Android Smartphones, something called an iPod Shuffle and not a single page dedicated to Shrinky Dinks? I still think I\u2019ll dog-ear a few sections and slip it under Mom\u2019s bedroom door, just for old time\u2019s sake.\u201d<\/p>\n
Toys R Us closed its doors in June 2018, and the venerable 130-year-old Sears\u00a0filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy in October. But take heart, my children. Walmart will\u00a0fill the vacuum by expanding its toy department by 30 percent this year. Let the list begin.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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