{"id":10860,"date":"2018-04-19T15:33:39","date_gmt":"2018-04-19T21:33:39","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/thelink.harding.edu\/the-bison\/?p=10860"},"modified":"2018-04-26T20:44:22","modified_gmt":"2018-04-27T02:44:22","slug":"prioritizing-friendships","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/thelink.harding.edu\/the-bison\/2018\/04\/19\/prioritizing-friendships\/","title":{"rendered":"Prioritizing Friendships"},"content":{"rendered":"

I didn\u2019t have much trouble making and maintaining friendships in college. The structure of a university \u2014 especially\u00a0 <\/span>one where most people live on campus \u2014 forces people together. Without even trying to, I spent nearly all of my time with friends: in class, in chapel, at Midnight Oil, at The Bison office for 3 a.m. deadline crashes. I didn\u2019t have to plan my social life or work to keep it healthy; if anything, I needed to plan in time for myself, away from friends. \u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Two years post-grad, I\u2019m realizing what a luxury it was to be in a place where friendship happened so effortlessly. I still have a few incidental relationships. I\u2019m lucky enough to be extremely close with my coworkers, and I have a great roommate. But for the most part, I only see the people I make plans to see.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span>Here\u2019s the thing: it took me about a year and a half to understand that shift in my social order. I spent a lot of time being lonely because I was waiting for people to make plans with me.\u00a0 <\/span>It seems obvious \u2014 but\u00a0 <\/span>I wish someone had told me before I graduated that I needed to work to make and maintain friendships.<\/p>\n

\u00a0<\/span>I don\u2019t want to scare you. Friendships after college are harder, definitely \u2014 but they\u2019re also richer, more beautiful,\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

more intentional. I don\u2019t hang out with people because I ran into them at Midnight Oil; I hang out with them because I\u2019ve made spending time with them a priority.<\/p>\n

Of course, even two years out, I haven\u2019t learned to manage this perfectly. There are people I love dearly that I don\u2019t see or even talk to very often. It\u2019s one thing to love someone; it\u2019s another thing to actively prioritize them. As I\u2019m sure several of my friends can tell you, I\u2019m still learning.<\/p>\n

But the ones I\u2019m getting right \u2014 the friendships I\u2019m investing in and working on \u2014 are some of the most rewarding relationships of my life so far. There\u2019s something beautiful about driving half an hour once or twice a week to see people you love, or calling an out-of-state friend once a week. There\u2019s something beautiful about choosing people and being chosen in return.<\/p>\n

So here are my two cents, for what they\u2019re worth: cherish this time of effortless friendships, but get ready to prioritize the ones you care about. Like any good thing, a solid friendship is hard work \u2014 but it\u2019s worth working for.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I didn\u2019t have much trouble making and maintaining friendships in college. The structure of a university \u2014 especially\u00a0 one where most people live on campus \u2014 forces people together. Without…<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":14448,"featured_media":10861,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[25],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-10860","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-opinions"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/thelink.harding.edu\/the-bison\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10860","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/thelink.harding.edu\/the-bison\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/thelink.harding.edu\/the-bison\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thelink.harding.edu\/the-bison\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/14448"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thelink.harding.edu\/the-bison\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=10860"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/thelink.harding.edu\/the-bison\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10860\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":10862,"href":"https:\/\/thelink.harding.edu\/the-bison\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/10860\/revisions\/10862"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thelink.harding.edu\/the-bison\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/10861"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/thelink.harding.edu\/the-bison\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=10860"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thelink.harding.edu\/the-bison\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=10860"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/thelink.harding.edu\/the-bison\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=10860"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}