A\u00a0few months ago, my roommate Hollee and I talked about a joke we saw that suggested changing your Twitter handle to your biggest character flaw and favorite food. I asked her what she thought my biggest character flaw was, and I was a little bit surprised by her answer, but then she explained and we talked more about it. Ultimately, we came to the conclusion that my handle would be @SelflessSpaghetti.<\/p>\n
I have a habit of focusing on others before myself. I don\u2019t mean this in a braggy way. I\u2019m not saying that I\u2019m selfless because I\u2019m just that great of a person. I think it has always been easier for me to exhaust myself for other people than to reflect and deal with my own issues. I\u2019ve written before about how hard it is to ask for help, but it\u2019s even harder to ask for help if you refuse to recognize the problem in the first place.<\/p>\n
They say you have to love yourself before you can love someone else. I\u2019ve always kind of wrestled with this idea because I think it\u2019s important to love and support other people, but I usually feel uncomfortable making my own happiness a priority. I\u2019ve spent so much time trying to train myself to focus on others. Now, it feels wrong to focus on myself.<\/p>\n
After Hollee pointed this out and explained that selflessness is actually my biggest flaw, I was able to realize how much this has affected my life, especially in the last few years. I know I don\u2019t always take care of myself like I should, and I prioritize my friends\u2019 needs before my own. I never really thought of that as a bad thing until Hollee said something. I mean, I low-key felt attacked, even though I asked for her complete honesty. She brought up specific times when I\u2019d committed to more responsibility with the newspaper than I could handle, or said I\u2019d help someone in one of my classes despite already having too much on my plate. She recalled watching me go without eating or sleeping a few times in order to get it all done.<\/p>\n
\u201cYou\u2019ve straight up neglected your basic needs before,\u201d she said. \u201cThere was even that one time that you fell asleep in your Eeyore onesie because you\u2019d made yourself physically sick. Jaisa, stress and taking on too much at once can lower your immune system. You\u2019re basically begging for an illness all the time.\u201d<\/p>\n
So, I essentially got a lecture from my roommate about how I really needed to start taking care of myself – \u201cor else.\u201d But it wasn\u2019t all bad. She also said that she envied my selflessness, and that it was also my greatest strength. I just needed to find a balance between taking care of others and also taking care of myself.<\/p>\n
I continued the conversation by turning the tables on her.<\/p>\n
Long story short, her Twitter handle would be @AnxiousCheeseburger. It\u2019s hard for Hollee to make new friends because her anxiety keeps her from approaching people first. There are opportunities that she has missed out on because she was too anxious to take them. Her nervousness has also made her physically sick several times. When things are out of her control, she starts to shut down and back out of everything. She\u2019s so extremely smart, and I know she\u2019s capable of so much, but she is oftentimes too afraid to put herself out there or too afraid of failing.<\/p>\n
I think it\u2019s important to have these kinds of conversations with your friends because real friends will tell you the truth, and they care enough to help you improve. The point is that everyone has some sort of weakness \u2014 an ultimate character flaw that keeps them from living their best life. There\u2019s always room to grow, and all you have to do is to find your Achilles\u2019 heel and own up to it. Or, as Hollee put it, \u201ccheck yourself before you wreck yourself.\u201d<\/p>\n
So, what\u2019s your new Twitter handle going to be?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
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