Written by Kimberly Nudelman
What is dating? Is it the traditional idea of waiting for that cute boy to ask you out to dinner? Or is it a more modern-type story of sharing a few drinks at a bar? Personally, I’m not a huge fan of either of these. Sure, I’m a sucker for some good old-fashioned courtship. And I agree with my grandma when she says that a boy should have to “prove his worthiness.” But shouldn’t this go both ways? Are we girls supposed to wait around for our crush to ask us to dinner, and boys supposed to stress about deciding the appropriate number of dates before going for that first kiss at the door? If you ask me, these roles seem a little antiquated, not to mention a little boring. Specific gender roles have governed our society for years, and while certain aspects are still significant, perhaps others are due for some updates.Remember that fabulous bar scene in the movie “Good Will Hunting,” when Will and Skylar first meet? Chuckie, played by Ben Afflek, decides to pick up on a pretty med student named Skylar at the local bar. Typical. But when he runs into trouble with that know-it-all grad student, his good friend Will (Matt Damon) comes to the rescue. With his unusual intelligence and quick tongue, Will dominates the argument hands-down. Needless to say, it was impressive. But despite all of his genius, Will failed to recognize the impression he had left on that pretty grad student sitting at the bar. Later that night, Skylar approaches Will and smoothly defies conventional dating expectations.”You’re an idiot,” she says. “I’ve been sitting over there for 45 minutes waiting for you to come and talk to me. But I’m tired now, and I have to go home … and I couldn’t sit there anymore waiting for you.” Of course, Will then introduces himself, they shake hands, laugh at a few jokes, and look at that! The spark of a new friendship. Skylar even goes so far as to offer her number and an invitation to get coffee sometime.For many, Skylar’s initiative may seem too bold or straightforward. But guys shouldn’t have to be the only ones to make themselves vulnerable to rejection. I know there are many guys, just like the handsome Will Hunting, who wouldn’t mind switching up the traditional roles every once in a while. And I know plenty of confident girls who could pull off a move like Skylar’s and make it seem like a piece of cake.And even for all of you who are past the initial dating scene and already in a serious relationship (this is Harding, after all) — let go of your ordinary and expected roles. I enjoy taking my boyfriend out on surprise dates every once in a while (even if he is the one driving), or treating him to the movie he’s been dying to see. I know plenty of guys who definitely wouldn’t mind that either. Especially with the security and comfort of already being in a relationship, it becomes pretty easy to step outside the confining boundaries of conservative gender roles.College is the prime time to meet new people, spark new friendships and enjoy plenty of dates before you are thrown into the world of jobs, taxes and marriage. So why not shake things up a bit? Don’t settle into that gender-specific, outdated convention of dating — make your own! Take risks, be bold and have fun!KIMBERLY NUDELMAN is a guest contributor for the Bison. She may be contacted atknudelma@harding.edu
