Written by Elise Siklosi
The narrative of, “Do whatever makes you happy” is an ever present “truth” in today’s postmodern society. We say, “Yes! Whatever feels good or right is what you must do. Whatever you feel to be the truth is the truth,” right? In reality, not all feelings equal facts. Not all desires equal truths. When we live our lives strictly based on something that bends and sways, comes and goes, there is much potential for harm to be caused either to ourselves or others. Even God, a loving lord who is in constant pursuit of reconciling with his creation says, “[I] gave them over to the desires of their hearts …” (Romans 1:24; NASB).
Pornography is a massive example of this. Perhaps it “feels right” to watch pornography: It triggers a dopamine response, causing stress relief. Chemically speaking, yes, watching pornography might make one happy. Perhaps even participating in filming pornography might make one happy (referring specifically to workers in the porn industry). But this does not make it ethical or healthy. In fact, it is quite the opposite.
Pornographic content largely normalizes rape, incest and sexual violence. In other words, while it might “feel right,” it is undoubtedly harmful for consumption. Fight the New Drug, an organization spreading awareness about the harmful effects of pornography, notes that at least 91.5% of adult men and 60.2% of adult women have sought out pornographic content in their lifetime. Many of these individuals have spiraled into addiction, behaviors characterized by compulsivity, obsession and continuing despite adverse consequences. Much like tobacco, regularly viewing pornography can cause the brain to react as if it is addicted. Suddenly, it becomes a “drug” that one is dependent on.
I have seen and understood how pornography h a s negatively affected both myself and other men and women around me. Prolonged porn addiction skews the truth in what healthy relationships are like. Rather than sex being a fruit/product of love, love becomes a fruit/ product of sex. In other words, it has taught individuals around me that to have love, they must first have sex. Suddenly, relationships become sexualized rather than loving. In some cases, physical appearance takes No. 1 priority rather than the heart.
Shame is one of the heaviest elements associated with porn addiction (more so for women than men). An addict that is ashamed might be tempted to hide their face, labeling themselves with self- deprecating, spiritually inaccurate terms such as “dirty,” “unloveable” or “unworthy even though Christ died.” So what now?
I believe that finding freedom from any addiction is not a linear process. Simply put, hardly ever can there be complete recovery without relapse. An addict will not wake up one day and decide, “I recognize how this is hurting me. I’ll never do it again!” At first, they may only be able to go three days without watching pornography. And that might be a continuous cycle until they can go a week, and then a month and then perhaps even a year. Finding freedom is possible, but not all journeys of recovery look the same. At the end of the day, “in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us,” (Romans 8:37, NIV).
