Written by Tiane Davis
Any time I travel or experience important events in my life, I get terrified at the thought I might someday forget the memories I made. In the middle of a great day, I will let my anxiety about forgetting it ruin the fun I am having. Later, in a panic, I might jot down my favorite memories from the day, only to look back on previous journal entries and realize I’m already weeks behind on remembering.
I always worry my life won’t be as meaningful if I can’t fully remember every little detail of my favorite days. I find myself hoarding memories as if they were precious childhood toys, fearing that if they go, the fullness of my existence will diminish.
Beyond that, when I look back on weeks or months of my life and can’t pick out significant moments, I fear I haven’t been making enough of an effort to make my life meaningful. I tend to treat my memories like people, which makes me want to hold on tight and never let go. It feels like a huge loss when I realize I don’t remember as much about a trip or season of my life as I used to. To think I will someday forget the current moment feels like I will have to say goodbye to a person I love.
But it doesn’t have to be like that — not every moment needs to be etched in memory for it to have meaning.
When I look at the people who surround me, I realize that forgetting certain memories I have made with them does not mean they are leaving my life or that I am losing them. I would love to write down everything I do every day so I can read my journal later and remember, but I often forget to do that. While cherishing memories is good and natural, it’s also important to find a balance and not let the fear of forgetting overshadow the joy of living in the present.
For the times I don’t remember to write down my memories, I have realized the people around me are the perfect journal. Relationships and connections with others are powerful anchors to moments in time. An old friendship with someone is a perfect representation of the time you have spent with them; a new friendship is a reminder you are not remaining stagnant. Even a passerby you have never seen before is a sweet reminder you are just living life.
The people you make memories with are much more important than the memories themselves. Just because you forget something significant you did with your best friend doesn’t mean you have forgotten them or how much they mean to you. Memories are not people.
I have always loved the phrase, “Let’s make some memories,” because it gets me excited to spend time with my favorite people. However, I am starting to realize that “making memories” is only a lesser way of saying, “living life.”
We don’t just make memories. We live life.
We don’t do things just so we can remember them later, although that is a huge part of the joy. We do things so we can grow and invest in our future selves. We do things so the people around us can call us a friend.
If I think of everything I do in relation to the memories I make, I will eventually find myself at a loss because there is no way I can remember everything I do in my life.
In the present moment, the pages of my journal may not capture every nuance and every detail, but they serve as markers of the life I have lived. So, as I navigate the elusive nature of memory, I find comfort in the understanding that the richness of life extends beyond any recorded memories. The people who walk beside me, the connections I make and the moments I live are the real treasures. If I can embrace the beauty of the present, I can let go of the fear of forgetting.
So, here’s to making memories, but more importantly, living life.
