I’m not sure if you are aware or not, but this past week we celebrated Presidents Day. For the modern American, this means not much more than a three-day weekend and a good price on a 2016 mattress. Back in 1970, America celebrateed President George Washingtons’ birthday on his actual birthday, February 22. The next year, however, the Uniform Monday Holiday Act switched the day of celebration to the third Monday in February — for no reason other than to have another three-day weekend for the nation’s workers.

I guess to help reinforce the three-day weekend, the government recognized that President Lincoln’s birthday, which falls on February 12, could also be celebrated on that same day. What in the world would they call it though? Washcoln Day? Linington Day? Presidents Day. Of course. That has enough merit to offer some sweet holiday sales on plastic Tupperware.

I’m not bitter, really. I just think that stuffing two of the greatest men to ever run this country into one day of celebration does them a huge injustice. How in the world am I supposed to observe both lives and take $1,000 off of a 2016 Chevy Camaro in only 24 hours? Not to mention the poorly chosen holiday title. George Washington didn’t want to lead the country i.e. he didn’t want to be president. You know this. We all know this. Remember Mrs. Foland telling us in freshman history in high school? If you don’t believe her, here is an excerpt from the big man’s diary:

“About ten o’clock, I bade adieu to Mount Vernon, to private life, and to domestic felicity and, with a mind oppressed with more anxious and painful sensations than I have words to express, set out for New York …with the best dispositions to render service to my country in obedience to its call, but with less hope of answering its expectations.”

George Washington suited up and led a country because he was the only person who could have done it. But that’s okay — let’s commemorate the one thing he wasn’t keen on as his holiday. What about “Mount Vernon Day?” Maybe “Martha Washington Day?” “Get The Heck Off My Property Day?” There are several things Washington was a fan of that we could celebrate other than his reluctant employment.

Don’t even get me started on Abe Lincoln. In order to fully understand the gravity of who this man was, I suggest watching a back-to-back movie marathon of Daniel Day-Lewis in “Lincoln” followed by the more historically accurate film, “Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter.”

Not only was Lincoln a successful lawyer, but he had every positive attribute a leader could have. From a great beard to an even greater vertical, Lincoln was the man for the big chair. He cared about human rights and protected those he loved from that guy who bit his mom to death.

All of these great achievements and what does he get in return? A No. 2 seat next to reluctant George. No “Vampire Day?” No “Log Cabin Lawyer Day?” I think if we re-evaluated ourselves and set our priorities right, we could all agree that these two great men deserve two great days. We as the American people have a duty to two days of observation. And sales. Lots and lots of sales.