I will openly admit that the worst part about going home for me is returning to church that first Sunday of break. The reason? One simple question that I receive upon my return. It’s the age old question that goes a little something like this, “So have you found a special someone ‘up there’ at Harding yet?” (Insert winky face, smirk face, and kissy face.) In my head I respond by growing a good 6-feet taller and yelling in their face a ferocious, “No!” But then I’m forced to come back to reality and plant a fake, polite smile on my face and say something like, “No, I’ve been focusing on my grades this semester (these whole 4 years I’ve been attending Harding).” I tell you all of this to come to my point in writing this article. I need every student on campus to heed the words I’m about to say, especially you women.
We obviously go to a university where marriage is highly encouraged. However, this is in no way, shape or form means that at any point during your time here should you ever in a million years think that it is OK to settle. As a matter of fact, according to the Merriam Webster Dictionary, the word “settle” is synonymous with the phrase “to come to rest” which means to sink gradually to the bottom.
I don’t know about you, but if I ever introduce someone to my family and they ask me how we met, I wouldn’t want to say, “Well you see after many years of being single I decided that my standards were too high, so I decided to sink to the bottom and found this lucky guy.” That obviously sounds ridiculous.
This is my fourth year attending Harding and I’m not scared to let the world know that I’ve been on exactly one date. Am I ashamed of that? Absolutely not. I have standards when it comes to dating. For one, I’m not going to date someone just to date them. This isn’t middle school. When I decide to commit my time to someone it’s going to be because I would consider marrying them. I pray that we can all agree that marriage is serious business.
I don’t want this to be another “three swings and a ring” article that you roll your eyes at. I am beyond serious when I say that I care about all of you out there who are currently settling. It’s OK to have standards and guard them with a stick. If you are constantly allowing people to tell you that your standards are “too high,” then let me advise you that those are not the kind of people you need in your life. If you take their “advice” concerning your love life then I’m sorry to say it, but you’re going to end up with a loser.
Maureen Dowd, a writer for the New York Times, once said, “The minute you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than what you settled for.” The moment we decide settling is okay is the exact moment we give up on what we value in a future spouse.
I couldn’t care less about what other people think about my nonexistent love life. If I’m OK with being single and not settling for just any guy then that is all that matters. I hope you’re picking up what I’m laying down and that you will resolve to not “sink to the bottom” when it comes to choosing who you will spend the rest of your life with. If you’ve decided you want to be single for the rest of your life then this is me giving you a high-five. However, if one day you do want to get married, don’t you dare settle for less than you deserve.
