Today is the first day of homecoming weekend and you’re probably saying a lot of “hellos” to friends you haven’t seen in one year, or five, or 50.
I love hellos and reunions, but I’m not so great with goodbyes, which we’ll have to turn around and say in just two days to the same people we’re saying hello to now. When I was 4, my family moved from Tennessee to Las Vegas and I cried on the airplane. I’m sure I had no idea what was going on at the time, but I didn’t like it and my reaction to goodbyes has gone pretty much downhill ever since.
“Goodbye” is a concept we’re forced to become acquainted with in college. Before we get here, we say goodbye to our family and our friends from high school. Then every four months for the next four years, we say goodbye, pack all our things and go somewhere else — home, on an internship, abroad, Area 51 — for the summer and winter holidays.
I graduate in May but I already have goodbyes on my mind. I think about all the friends I’ve made and I’m preparing for how emotional I’ll be when I give them a big hug and we take one last graduation selfie before we head our separate ways and march blindly into the future and adulthood, only to be reunited for one weekend in October called Homecoming until our friendships deteriorate into Christmas newsletters and eventually an invitation to a funeral.
Life doesn’t have to be that grim or dramatic — although I do indulge in the latter enough. Goodbyes are not final, and maintaining relationships is not a fool’s errand. I suggest writing letters to the friends you care about. It’s quaint, meaningful and keeps you accountable. I’m much more likely to respond to a letter than a text message simply because it’s a tangible reminder that I have a friend who cares enough to spend 10 minutes and 44 cents in postage on me.
The bright side of every goodbye is looking forward to the next time you get to say hello. Some of my best friends graduated last May and we started planning a reunion in April. Homecoming is the perfect reminder that friendships are eternal; they do not deteriorate with age as long as we don’t allow them to. Watching alumni’s faces light up as they recognize friends they haven’t seen in decades is all the assurance I need that goodbyes aren’t the worst thing in the world.
Learning to say goodbye was a goal of mine when I first started college. To me, it implies growth and maturity when someone can face a goodbye head on. I guess I’ll find out in 6 months if I achieved my goal. In the meantime, I’m enjoying all the hellos.
